crazy shit

I can't sleep.I've been watching movies for hours, in between work and Kaiser waitin for drugs....then a documentary on hip hop. I have a new found respect and a little crush on Atmosphere.I'm re-examining his rhymes in a new found light. The light of a white passing Black brother, or the light of his proclaimed queerness...maybe i misunderstood...no, i know i did. Maybe I have a crush like I do on a lot of these cats that i can find community with. mAYBe i'm so tired that i'm imagining he's fine...shit, it could be all of the above.

why can't i sleep. I hate waking up at 1 pm. I this sick feelin i get when it's 4am and I still can't sleep....I miss my roommate, my wife. I miss... being able to whine at each other without feelin dumb because of it. I miss chillin and watchin movies with Doria between us or running around actin a fool.

Fuck, maybe i shouldn't even go to sleep. I'm not sure how i feel about Onyx, I swear to god they think female rappers don't exist or at least they do a really good job forgetting to give respect when it's due. I think they should fuck each other and then maybe i'd listen to what they have to say...something more interesting then hearin about all the bitches they fucking. Yeah....lets try some hot queer male bodied folks lined up outside their hotel room. hehehe.Now that would be hot.

Oh my god, what am i doin, i need to sleep and stop thinkin about hip hop. oh but how i love it...Masta Killa is fuckin brilliant and I can't wait for a solo from him, although i'm glad he hasn't sold out like some of the other members of Wu Tang.

ok...im done. goodnight/morning...

new years resolution: find Atmosphere and you know you know :)